I was walking through London today and for the first time in a long time I let myself breathe. I mean fully take in the moment and just be content with it. Content with myself and how far Ive come and all I’ve overcome. I was happy. I am happy. Right here. Thats the first time I’ve really understood fully what they mean when they say that happiness is a choice, and it really is. I’ve been so wrapped up with where I want to be and working so hard so that I can have it all, but not just have it all. To have it all now. My ambitious little self gets a bit impatient sometimes (I’m working on it).
The truth is, I’m anxious in almost every breath I take. Some days I feel as though it is taking over my body but even when that happens I know there will be the days i feel safe again and Il remember what it’s like to calm down. Whether it be a person, a place or a passion, it reminds me that I can do this. We all can. It’s only fear of failure that gets in the way and the risk we take of loosing sight of what we already have whilst striving for all that we wish for. A big one is our own minds and the thoughts that come invading in when we are faced with a big opportunity or decision to make. My personal favourite… “What if i made the wrong choice and sooner or later my whole world is going to come crashing down into a great big pile of shit and it’s all my fault?” Completely normal thoughts. But lets put it this way… If you’ve come this far, you’re a stubborn thing, you want more and you want to do something amazing. So you will. And, that is the key and that is what was running through my mind as I decided to take a different approach to how I have been dealing with things lately. All you can do is go for it. Keep going, slow down, be kind to yourself. Imagine the moment when you get everything you set out for. Focus on that. Focus on that feeling, exactly how you’d feel. Obsess over it and let it consume you. And in the mean time, look around you and find happiness in the moment, in places you love and people you love and most importantly in you. You just might surprise yourself.